Wednesday, September 19, 2012

No Regrets

I am not a fan of cliches, however some sayings have stood the test of time for a reason.  There is truth behind them.  I can honestly say that in the life I live today, I do not have any regrets.  Everything that I have done has led me to the place in life that I am in today.  And the place that I am in today is pretty awesome.  My good friend and author of Hindsight is Pretty Funny is celebrating the one year anniversary of her divorce today.  This exciting milestone for her got me to thinking about how far I've come, not just in moving on from my divorce but in life.

Learning from the past is an amazing gift that we can give ourselves.  I read this morning in Stumbling on Happiness that "people of every age and walk of life seem to regret not having done things much more than they regret things they did". 

My marriage was a co-dependant relationship.  When we went to a marriage therapist (too late I might add) she told us we had a parent-child relationship and our chance of success in that kind of relationship was slim.  I was the child.  I gave up my power to my husband and basically said I cannot handle living my life, I need you to tell me how to live it.  And he was happy to oblige.  It's hard for me to believe that this was my life, but it was. 

Today I am living my life for myself.  I am no longer trying to fill the hole in my soul with another person.  And I will never go back to trying to find myself in someone else.  I've tried to fill that hole before with other things and other people.  Sometimes major difficulties happen in our lives as a way to get our attention.  To get us to stop and think about what the heck is going on.  My marriage and divorce and the difficulties in my life since then have given me the opportunity to stop and think about my life and where it was going.  I have time to correct my path.  And I am grateful for that opportunity.

I am also grateful for all of the people that my divorce has brought into my life.  And Emily is definitely at the top of that list.  Congratulations on one year of unwedded bliss!